At the end of last session I was triggered. T recognized this and tried to do some grounding with me but all I wouldn't let her. I knew it was close to time to leaving and I just needed to work through it myself. I just kept repeating "i'm fine, i'm fine. I don't know." I denied being sui or feeling like self harming (well, I said I don't know but I shook my head no) and refused her offer to stay a little longer. Before I left though, she did ask me to agree to email her if I felt sui or like self harming. We have a very trusting relationship. I'm honest with her and she has never threatened any kind of repercussion. It works for us.

I did, end up self harming tonight. It wasn't bad and controlled as usual. What I need to know is, because it did not stem from that triggering ending (I had just been holding a good bit in today and needed a little release), did I still agree to contact T or was it only based on the stipulation that my self harm stemmed from being triggered?

Like i said, i'm not worried about repercussion; i just want to keep our relationship open because we worked hard to get to this point and don't want any "accidental secrets". So, now i'm trying to decide should I tell her per our agreement or is this not really part of the agreement because it had nothing to do with the base of our making the agreement in the first place?