Honestly - waiting is always the hardest when you know help is right around the corner. I always found that my eating disorder screamed the loudest when it knew it was about to go away. Or at least be challenged, which is what treatment does. It is possible to get better. I went through treatment 3 times... pieced together a solid stint of recovery. Maybe this is the "booster shot" of recovery/treatment you need for a future without this disease? Sending you positive thoughts.

theinvisigoth - how'd you do with dinner? Can you tell your therapist that pushing too much too fast is difficult? Is there a middle ground that is still pushing but perhaps a little less triggering? Or is this more of the rip-the-band-aid off type of thing?

breakmystride - I relate so very much. My team always tells me it's not about the number, it's about the behaviors and the mindset. Thing is... it's also about the numbers, at least it is when you're the person with the ED. :/ You're not alone in your fear.


Me today... it's been a ****-show of a day. I'm blending so many behaviors it's getting somewhat crazy. Weight won't go down, it's stubbornly hovering at a point that is much bigger than I want to be. I was doing all right at lunch and then just lost control at dinner. The people who said restricting makes you binge at night? Well, they were right. I never believed that until recently. Consistent nutrition would make this easier. Why is it so hard to over-power my brain enough to eat what I'm supposed to??? Grrrrrrr.