Try to have patience, Zebra. It isn't easy, I know.

Personally, I've noticed that I have many layers. After a lot of tests and time, I let some people in ~ but no one has gotten into the core of me. Even after many years together, I just cannot seem to trust a person enough to feel safe sharing every intimate side of myself. So, I hold back.

It's just my guess that you feel somewhat similarly as myself. You may be willing to share little pieces here & there, but nothing adequate. Nothing that helps you relieve some pain and feel emotional support from another. That takes time. For me, it takes a lot of time & trust to allow myself to share intimate sides of myself. Even after years with a man, I can still feel myself struggling (a part of me anxious to share while my dominant side represses the urge).

I hope that this information helps you feel less alone and better understood. There is hope, of course. Many people here do open up completely, and they feel the necessary love and support from another that helps free them from intense emotions....Just not me. Sorry!