I remember thinking about healing as a linear process, one that would begin where I was and then I would go through the stages and boom-I would be better. I realize now that it is a spiral, a continuum where we experience our grief, anger, pain over and over again. Each time, another layer gets peeled away (or not). Healing is not linear--it is a lifelong process and that concept is overwhelming to me. So I hide behind other roles, roles where I am not an abused person, but a happy one who is "clean." Oh what a mess I am!