ThingWithFeathers, you're certainly not the only one and I identify with several things you said about yourself, issue of wanting to trust someone but finding it difficult, not having the intimacy you want, being shy, realizing with your T gone that it would be nice if you had somebody else to turn to....

On one level being alone is part of life and part of the human condition. I think everybody experiences it at some point in their life. And certainly some people find it more difficult, and given past history of abuse or other difficulties, might have more problems initiating friendships or trusting people.

But on another level...screw rationalization, I want intimacy!