Jessica, this is your life, it's time to set your own rules. Mom's is an opinion, not a command, and it has as much value as you allow it to have.
In regards to the social security checks, you are going to hate me for this, but, if she used that money to raise you, well, I believe that is what is intended to. (sorry!), it is to assist the surviving parent to raise the surviving dependents.

Jessica, I really wish you healing, take a deep breath, separate issues, and stay strong. You are a super great person and help many here, I know I owe you a lot, you've been there for me at the most difficult moments for me, and I am going to be here for you too. But I am very honest, maybe too honest some times, and you will always know what I think. I much rather hurt you with the true than with lies, because those ones hurt more.

Lots of love to you, make your own choices, mom is no longer in comand, right? She is entitled to her opinion, but that is all it is.
The choice is yours .... (I personally think 10 hours a day is way too much!)

gab