Quote:
Originally Posted by StressedMess
But using this sentence as a jumping off point, intimacy takes too much damn work. Being alone is comfortable in that I don't have to get to know another person's foibles and what makes them tick. I don't have to guard my words and thoughts. I don't have to fear trusting the untrustworthy again.
Being comfortable alone is a skill I never learned. I am getting better at it, but that takes work as well. Codependency R Me!
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Oh StressedMess, I hear you! That first paragraph, exactly my thoughts.
I used to have this dream vision of intimacy, where you just get close, like finding your soul mate, you just naturally complement each other and everything goes so well.
But in reality, like you say, getting close to another person takes a lot of work! Heck it can even be a minefield! Even online or on this forum, I've said things (meaning well) that ended up upsetting someone and pushing them away. In a real relationship the same things happen. Everybody comes with their own history and their own baggage and their own sensitivities. I'm the same way! People can say things and mean well and it still hurts my feelings.
I sometimes wonder how real intimacy does happen when it does, when people get really close. That kind of trust must take years to develop. And so many hurdles to pass successfully. At least that's what I think.