Rose I have seen you give others great advice pretty much in your same situation, So you know something has to give , yes easier said than done..

I do know that you can get respite care where he goes to a nursing facilty for X days, Just so you get a damn break, While he is there they will determine if Physical Therapy could be helpful to him, but a Social Worker is going to look at his whole situation and help determine if going home is the best thing for him and or you. You dont have to handle all this.. What if you become sick ?

Yes you care thats a given but I think I see your feeling guilt over this.. Guilt is not good for you... I would think he would easily meet the needs of a retirement facilty.. Help would be there when needed and you can go visit all you want to.

Please dont let yourself feel trapped