Wanted to post a topic in part to thank so many here for the support that was given while I was in hospital and to give a general update on how things are now 5 weeks have gone by

Suffice to say, my erratic explosion of confusion, emotion and break down of logic that landed me in hospital back in June has tapered off somewhat. The adjustment in medication (including a mood stabiliser) took time to take hold but I think they've helped.

The wife and friends have commented that colour has come back to my face, gauntness has gone and I have a bit more vigour in 'controlled' social occasions... I seem to struggle after 30 minutes or so though I get exhausted very fast keeping a conversation going and am getting physical stabbing pains in the back of my head.

With that said my T has commented on the overall improvement and is pleased to see some self-assuredness coming back, though she (my pdoc and community psychiatric nurse) are all insisting I take things slow... a day at a time. Have had a few nasty spirals (including a few days this week) when I've tried to leap into things I used to be able to do... and anxiety is still hitting me hard out of nowhere when I let my mind wander towards the future or I get confused and forgetful.

Got my personality disorder one to one assessment coming up on the 15th, but not dreading the process as much now as I did say, a month back.

Finding that I am continuously tired still... broken sleep at all times of the day. Still cutting but in a more controlled manner again (as in discreet), I don't hide the fact from the wife or cpn... it's a release factor for me but I understand the risks (be it going deep or getting infected (I'm colour blind so I wouldn't know till it was bad)) and I've taken advice on 'if you are going to do it' to keep implements sterile and the area clean.

Anyway I am thankful that I have a decent support network - here, phone support and the other people I've mentioned above... so fingers crossed, I will steadily get back onto my feet... be that through management of mh or a recovery (hopefully the latter). Should probably finish that off with 'touch wood' just to be safe but yeah... thank you again to all here who have been there for me when I couldn't see the wood for the trees