I've been self medicating for 6 months on and off to make myself feel better, even only for a while.

I know I'm doing damage to myself physically but it quietens my mind and takes away all the emotions that make me so bad. I can't help it.

It's got to the point where I'm feeling sick from self medicating constantly. When I have my psych evals I brush everything off, put a show on to convince them I'm fine. I'm not fine.

I don't know what to do anymore.