Yeah for sure. In my college for a short time I worked in a hospital and I still remember this older couple, must have been in their late 80s, watching the man help his wife put her jacket on, which took a while, but it was done in such a loving way, and with a lot of soft gentle touches (which were reciprocated as the two left the hospital hand in hand), that I wondered if I had accidentally walked into the set of a movie or something. Was this real? Was this possible?

Battleground comparison is so apt also for the environment I grew up in my family. It's this sense of not being able to feel safe and comfortable enough to let the guards down for long. Even my imagination is invaded by this lack of safety. I had gone for a simple medical procedure long ago and I was hyperventilating and the nurse told me imagine a place I feel very comfortable. She suggested a beach. In my imagination either the weather turned bad, I got very hot sand in my sandals, an emergency phone call, somebody's Frisbee hit me in the head, a couple arguing next to me loudly...anyhow, it was anything but relaxing!

Anyhow, totally agree with "For me to ever feel safe in a relationship I'm going to have to seriously like myself, understand what makes me tick, and then I might have a hope and a prayer of finding my complementary partner instead of another disaster. "

But not the last sentence, come on, don't break my heart, there is hope to find someone caring and kind.

I think many of us people who feel alone, were hurt by things we did not "deserve." Life can be cruel sometimes. But whether people believe in karma or other religious views or whether it's just randomness, in both cases I think most of us are bound to finally come across some positive things in our lives.

Maybe we get lucky and come across somebody who comes from a loving family, somebody with a really big heart who can be forgiving and open, somebody who knows themselves well enough and accepted their shortcomings, and a person whose love and care is strong enough to withstand our shortcomings and mistakes.