take it from me, the alcohol will numb you, but that is about it. it will depress you too, because it is a depressant. I used to drink to numb the pain. I did it to try to fit in and have fun with my friends, I would laugh and joke and pretend I was having fun, but I never felt more alone, and the alchohol, being a depressant, intensified that aloneness. it is up to you to find people who are worthy of caring for you instead of false superficial friends. finding activities that bring you joy. your life will be what you will make it.