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Old Oct 04, 2014, 01:35 AM
Anonymous45023
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Originally Posted by Capriciousness View Post
I don't know but I totally relate. I make all kinds if different markings and notes on my mood chart rather than just a check. Just for me to remember somehow.
.... the notes help me remember much more what exactly i was feeling. Also it is nice to express my crappy feelings
But i feel a lot of the time like I am not "up" or "down" but still not "baseline". It is way more complicated than that. So I try to find different ways to describe it for myself. words I have used are "off", "weird", "jagged", "raw", "tilting", "spiraling", etc etc etc and when all else fails I just tell my husband I am feeling all Bipolar.
And I relate to yours! It's almost like a kind of abbreviated combination of mood chart and journal, yeah? (MUCH abbreviated, as in journaling, I go on for pages and pages. And pages. )
And yes -- key words! There are certain terms that just come to mind in various states that seem a good fit, at least as much as words can. A couple of my favorites (NOT favorite states(!) just as descriptions of)..."dominoes in a blender" (thoughts are whirling around, each dependent on another which way they fall… "but if… but if… but if. I can name 1001 variations of possibilities, but I can't settle on what I think or make a decision AT ALL. WAAAY too much input.). "Goldfish in a piranha pond". Under siege from what seems like the whole world. A very lonely and scary place. "Howling into the void" -- very intensely forlorn and beyond crying. Etc.

So know what you mean in feeling so compelled to TRY to express in words what you're feeling. Even if only for yourself. Because, though of course there can be new states/feelings, so many repeat themselves that it's nice to have a word/words to "name" it. Very helpful for recognizing them too. Like how recognizing an episode near the start can make it easier to get back on track, because one is not so far from the track yet.

Made a few quick notes today about ways to update the DIY chart. One of the main things was to leave more room for words.
Thanks for this!
Capriciousness