I'm not sure about my feelings.

Sometimes when I think about specific things my ex did, I feel hurt and confused and very angry. But I suspect (though I have no confirmation of this) that he was abused himself growing up. He wasn't malicious, he was just taking what he'd learned and passing it on. Don't know how I feel about that (I also might be wrong, just some of the things he used to say...)

My mother's ex boyfriend on the other hand. Not for anything he did to me (though I'm learning through my T how serious those things were and am mortified), but if I ever saw him again I'd probably kill him for what he did to my sister. Hate.