Thats kind of a huge guilt trip for your mother to lay on you. Ive heard the same thing from my mother. Thats just more of the same - offloading their emotions onto us so they dont have to deal with their own feelings. Thats where the quote (in the bible) comes from - the sins of the father are visited upon the son? Only if the parent doesnt deal with them, or is in denial or whatever - it trickles down by default. I dont think its up to us to tell them what they did was okay. A person has to come to terms with herself about her own actions. All you can do is deal with the effects on you.

You deal with the effects in session. I asked my t, when am i supposed to turn from sad to happy? Im sad in session talking about all this carp. When am i supposed to start smiling? In the hallway? On the elevator? He asked if i had trouble with transitions. Im like, wtf are transitions? So now, like in winter especially, he makes sure my scarf is pulled tightly and i feel like a six year old going off to school. Definitely some reparenting going on there. But we have a definite end to session and a happy transition time to send me off.