I was an emotional surrogate husband to my mother because I was the oldest boy and my dad was not what you call emotionally available. I have never thought of enmeshment is such broad terms as the whole family though. I always thought we all take on different roles and enmeshment is a part of that.

I think of it as - if you are too enmeshed with someone you will put their needs and wants ahead of your own healthy needs. Being so wrapped up in someone else's problems and having a need to fix them that you ignore your own needs.