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silver_queen said:
Sidony, we're all influenced by our upbringing, whether it's good, bad, or mixed. Now your t is teaching you new life skills, you say... but he too has been influenced by his own past, so why does that give him the right to teach you 'skills' when he might have his own issues and prejudices (and might be unintentionally influencing you with them?) I mean that his own problems and issues might negatively influence what he teaches you. For example he might react in one way to a situation - and so he teaches you that's the best way to behave - but in reality there might be another and better way to react. But he's missed that (for some reason) but you have learned another maladaptive way... and you'd think it's good.

That's just a general example and not commenting on any personal things you might be learning with your t.

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Many therapists don't "teach" skills, they mainly provide opportunites for new ways of relating-- but that is not "taught" by the therapist. It is a process that can take quite some time to unfold. Again, I have to speak from both sides-- I am a therapist in training who has had quite an upbrining. If you looked at my history, you would probably say it was illegal for me to give therapy to others, lol. However, that is something that is worked out in the meantime-- I do not bring my issues into therapy (as a therapist, obviously), and they do not influence the manner in which I deal with clients. My coping skills are a direct result of my upbringing-- when I give therapy, it is with a conscious mind of not putting my "stuff" on someone else. I have spent a lot of time in school (and in my own therapy) bringing my any stereotypes, biases, issues, etc., to consciousness. I don't look at therapy as teaching-- the client teaches his or herself. The therapist facilliates this. Provides the insight. Is a blank slate for the client to project onto. Helps to awake the unconscious. Gives unconditional positive regard. Feels along with the client. Provides the most unique relationship one will ever experience. Will understand the client like no one has ever understood him/her in the world.