I've been wanting to know what it would be like to have a girlfriend.
I've had an experience involving lesbian-like tendencies.
I had a friend in the past who has hit on me when I was at the age of 15. However, she was a bit young to be doing that, she was 13. She pinned me down and started licking my neck, also nibbling my ear. I didn't know what to do, I was laughing and I couldn't break away from her. I sort of laid there as she had me in her grasp, and then I had the warm sensation over my body and I felt tingling down below.
My friends were the ones that introduced me to world of sex. We were all into anime as our main interests and it what brought us together. There is this thing called yaoi, where two male anime characters are paired together (with female characters it's called yuri.). However, they did this all to make it as their fantasy, and yaoi is all but a fantasy. Both of my two friends aged 11 and 13 became a "couple" and then I found out later that they broke up and one of them decided to get a boyfriend instead. The friend that talked to said she was really hurt and had a lot of resentment towards her.
They were just too young to understand. Another girl who was 14 wanted to sleep right next to me at a sleep over. She mentioned at the sleepover how her and (one of the friends I mentioned above) did more than kissing, as part of their yaoi fandom fantasy. She was playful wanting me to be right by her, we were lying down next to each other on a couch. I was 16 at the time. And I regret ever doing this, but I tried to hit on her by removing an article of my clothing (it wasn't anything down below though; it was just my pajama top). I said that my shirt was off. I can't remember what she said, but she seemed uncomfortable. Then I felt guilty and moved away from her to go sleep somewhere else. I apologized to her immediately the next morning and she said it was "fine". I still don't know how she felt after what had happened.
Now I've been wondering what it would be like with the opposite gender. I grew up in a family who was understanding of the world around them, and I grew up to learn and except the differences surrounding our people of religion (although I may have a few grudges against some, and may disagree with some teachings.), sexuality (I have no judge of them. even my cousin is bisexual), race (grew up partially in the Louisiana and experienced culture shock for the first time at the age of 5.), cultures (which why I wish to travel the world some day), and disabilities (my brother has autism).
Getting to the point, I could find a girl to be attractive, but I'm not sure. I'm not really sexually attracted to girls as of now, but I could be. I can kind of see myself being with one. I'm more attracted towards guys though. I feel as though that maybe getting a girl would be a better option for me than a guy since I'm unsuccessful at the moment, but I know that's not right.
Also, it's a really hard thing to do in Utah (well I don't know, it's easy for my cousin find other guys). Utah is very religious, mind you over and over again that 60% of the population here is Mormon, and 40% is gay (not going to get into the religion thing but, THAT'S HOW IT IS HERE FOLKS.)
I could love her if she loved me. I would. I would comfort her, share things with her, take care of her, just like I would with him. At least that's what I imagine doing. I just don't know yet though, I'm kind of curious.