Hi H3rmit, don't much like the term "midlife crisis" anyway, to me it kind of "trivializes" very real feelings and back to..............
Sometimes depression can numb you to things that matter/have mattered in your life, although that doesn't need to mean that they aren't there. It may be real hard to see anything right now, but.............
And it does kind of depend on how you interpret "pointless" as well, doesn't it?? I mean for a start I've seen you supporting people on here, and that is pretty good, right?? And wth your insight then I'm sure you've probably made a much bigger difference than you think. And that's just for a start!!!
But if you're looking for "something else" from where you are, then you know there have to be more opportunities after you get some help with the depression. Opportunities the depression has been/is blinding you to. It's never too late to make some changes, things can get better. But first some real (professional) help with the depression, hey?? Because I'm thinking that's the main thing standing in your way, right now??
Alison