The only thing that helps me control it is to be accountable to someone I love. I can't be accountable to myself because I don't care about myself. I love my T, though, more than anyone. I told my T that if she asked me to promise not to hurt myself before talking to her, I could probably do so because the absolute value of feeling bad because of breaking a promise to her is greater than the absolute value of relief gained by SH. Maybe you could find someone to do this with? Good luck.... It totally sucks and is mega hard to control. You are not alone.