Hi waterknob, really pleased for you that the day didn't go so bad
I can imagine you must have felt quite drained, but it must have been a relief??
Perhaps try to use it as a little/another reminder that not every day has to be that bad??
I do know, more bad days than good days, right??
But the "good" days can be ahead, just around the corner, if you hang in there/hold out through the harder things.
And just a matter of time before you find another job anyway, right??
And......."I wish I could overcome my negative feelings and be a better mom to my adult children" to a point do you think your negative feelings are telling you that you aren't as good as you actually are as a mom?? Now, that would naturally follow, right??!!
But if you're trying the best you can, however much that is, and you're letting your children know you care for them/love them (in whatever way) when you're able, then you're already streets ahead of plenty of parents out there. So give yourself real credit for that!!!
But........just a thought..........It might even help if you plan in/write down some things you want to do for them/tell them over the week/month, and remember even the smallest of things can mean so much, so no over-planning, OK???!!!! Just some little things!!!
Just a thought.
And forgot to say, sorry!!! You post as much as you want/need to!!! If something's bothering, hurting you or you're struggling it matters!!! And it's great you're giving us the opportunity to try to offer you some understanding/support. So as much as, OK??!!
Alison