Thank you so much to everyone, having such understanding ppl on this forum means a lot.
I will eventually start group therapy but I can't see my T again or contact him as I'm in the UK & my therapy was on the NHS so once its over its over.
I did attend 3 sessions with this other private therapist but she wasn't great & said some things that made me feel like she was judging me so I decided it was best to end with her.