Quote:
Originally Posted by MaybeYes
I'm sorry you're going through this because I can totally relate. Last year I got very upset with my T because he said "nice" things to me. He told me that he was worried about me and that he cared about me. It was at the end of the session and I was so shocked that I couldn't say anything-I just smiled and nodded and left. Afterwards I was very hurt and mad and kept thinking "Why would he say that? Why would he lie?"
It took months for me to tell him what I was really thinking and he was so surprised that those words would hurt me. I told him that it's not genuine and he only says nice things because I pay him. He told me that wasn't the case at all. When I'm feeling down and lonely the thoughts creep in that he was lying, but I try to remember that what we pay for is their time. All that is required of them is 45-60 minutes and professionalism. They aren't required to say nice things, and if they do, it's because they feel it's true. Your T doesn't know those people, so maybe she isn't right, but that doesn't make *her* thoughts and connection with you any less true.
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But it doesn't matter what she thinks. She may genuinely think I'm a good person, but even that is subconsciously driven by the fact that I pay her money, I'm sure. You can't separate out someone's monetary contribution when it comes to your reaction to them. That's not how this world works.
And if she's the only person who cares about me and I have to pay her in order to get that, I would prefer to be rejected and abandoned even by her.