I think believing that my therapist really cares about me since I pay him has been one of the most difficult things I have had to wrestle with in therapy. Also, my therapist didn't really get how alone I was until I explicitly laid out how few friends and family I had for support. If he had still tried to tell me how much love and support I had after that talk, I would have felt very upset because she didn't listen or show understanding of my feelings.

Lastly, I know it's hard to believe, but you, or you're "badness" didn't cause your abuse or others to bully you. Other people made bad choices that hurt you and that is a reflection of them, not any reflection of your inherent worth now or then.