Quote:
Originally Posted by HazelGirl
I have not been very honest about how alone I feel. I feel too ashamed by it and too afraid that she will see me as bad, too. I don't want to tell her that I have all these people around me, but no one I feel like I can turn to.
If it was just one or two people, or just one period of my life where that type of thing happened, I could see blaming it on others. But when it's everyone, throughout my whole life, I can't blame it on anyone else. At some point, I have to wake up and see that the common denominator in all these situations is me, and that I must be contributing to it somehow.
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It sounds like you are in a very, very sad and lonely place. I would hope that your therapist would help you process your feelings of shame and offer you her assurance that no matter what happens, she knows that you are not bad nor did you cause the abuse or any other traumas that have happened to you. I understand the pain of being rejected by what feels like everyone around me. The pain is almost unbearable. I'm so sorry you are suffering so much today.
JD
