My PHP sucked, so I quit after two days on Monday. And even though I had already canceled my appointments with T for the week for the program, I was doing okay. I spent all week hanging out with two of my close buddies that I don't see often since I moved an hour away. I've been coming to their house at lunch time and then hang until I get tired and fall asleep on their sofa or drive to where I'm staying.

So we've had a good time, cooked meals together and just been catching up. So I felt good since Tuesday.

Then I had to go to a football party today. I was kind of working it, but basically I was mingling with people having fun and watching football, so not really working. It should have been a continuation of feeling okay. But when it was over I just felt terrible and sui thoughts were coming back real bad. Persistent stuff I can't get out of my head. I was really dreading the drive back, being alone, worse yet being alone in my thoughts.

I'm at my buddy's house again now so it's okay. But I just feel like I shouldn't be feeling like this today. That I should be in a better mood.

Just needed to vent a little.