I hate comments like this. Not because you're not trying to be nice. I recognize that you are, and your comment was meant in a compassionate way. But they make me feel like I am not allowed to have problems of my own. I'm not allowed to be hurting because I'm the "strong" one. And that's the role I played in my family, the one who can handle everything, who doesn't complain, who doesn't hurt or react to things. It makes me feel bad when I get that same message from others, like they don't want me to talk about my problems because they want me to be the calm and put together one that they can rely on. I know that's my own past at play, but I did feel like I had to mention it.