Hi there,

I'm sorry if this post is naive/ignorant of me, but I've recently come out of a break-up with someone who I believe exhibits many of the characteristics of someone with BPD and I'm just trying to understand more about it.

It has been a couple of weeks now since the break-up and I've been moving through the phases of anger, sadness, guilt/failure, etc. etc. but slowly starting to come through it all and think more clearly about what I want moving forward, and slowly realising that I gave it my all and its not my fault.

I've spent a lot of time thinking about my ex and what goes through her mind. I've tried to do a lot of research to understand how she suffers but it is so hard for me to come to grips with as I've obviously never been there myself.

To me this woman is so beautiful and has so much potential, is funny, charismatic, intelligent, yet she seems to have suffered through so much turmoil in her life, which ultimately results in turmoil for the people closest to her. I tried to be a stabilizing factor in her life...tried to give her everything I could, yet she couldn't see that if she just accepted how much I loved her that I would always be there for her... her fear of rejection or pain from within just seemed to override everything.

I keep thinking silly things like one day she will wake up and look in the mirror and just realise how beautiful she is and how many people in her life have really tried to love her and be there for her...and finally decide to just turn things around, but I don't know if this will ever happen.

Can somebody who has had experience with BPD please just comment on this? Maybe its a really silly post, but I wish I could understand how someone rejects this kind of love, how somebody just cannot see things for what they are... how can somebody so beautiful, with so much going for them suffer from such low self esteem, even when there are people so close to them that want to love them so badly?!

Thanks.