Alison, you are great!

yes, my parents, especially my mom, usually tell me how i should be and feel. she lets me free to do what i want but she makes me feel judged all the time and thats why i dont really talk with her anymore.

sometimes i think im too confident i know the "truth", (my truth anyway), but honestly and objectively im almost always right, i am good at understanding other people's point of view especially of those close to me like my family.

and yes, of course they have their reasons for being/doing/thinking/saying what they do (you have centered many of them) and i think i totally get it and them, but still, i get tired of being understanding and seeing things from their point of view when they, for their own admission, cant see things from mine. they are not bad, but they cant understand/accept im not like them or like they would like me to be or they think i SHOULD be.

thank you for understanding.
and today things seem a lot brighter.
the effort i made the other day is paying off and i got lucky about another thing today for a chenge and im trying to appreciate it and not fall in the habit of seeing/valuing only the negative.

taking here and feeling supported and understood has helped a lot too, thank you very much!