Something I recently realized about myself having just come out of an abusive relationship.

He abused me and yet it's the safest I've ever felt. Why? Pain equals love. That's what I've been taught. So, conversely, feeling secure is scary. I'm not used to it. I don't deserve it.

I'm just a bad person who doesn't deserve to be treated right, so anyone being nice is clearly not to be trusted.

Simply, if you're not putting me down you don't love me. If you're nice it's only because you are hiding your true intentions or because you haven't figured out what a terrible person I am yet.