The following response may come across as overly harsh so strap in! lol

If you want to break things with the BF you should do so based on himself. Likewise you should see the potential relationship with Army guy based on himself not simply in comparison with BF or anyone else. He is is own person and a relationship with him may not be what you think it is once you actually date him. See that relationship for what is is/would be, not for what you dream…and defiantly not just in a comparison to a broken one you're in now. The reason I say that is because it would be awful to miss red flags and accept less than what you deserve because you're so used to what you're putting up with now.

LadyTiger, you've had 9 years to recognize and break things off with the boyfriend now? If he has broken your trust and consistently committed acts that are disrespectful for you (i.e cybering with other women) why wait till now to break things off? Why wait to break things off when a new man comes along when you've had justification to break up with him before? Likewise, if you want to stay with him despite all the problems the answer is clear. Stay with him, deal with the behavior, and stop contact with Army guy. There's not really a middle ground here.

I have something else I'd like to post but RL calls, I'll edit in a bit