It's because he has the same name, comes from a place close to, and sounds like the last man to hurt me terribly. I just hear him speak and I feel myself cringing inside, and then I am gone into the distance drifting back for crucial information or in time to say hmmm, yes, uh huh at the right time. I feel so ikky around him!

But there is more, something about the way he looks and the way he looks at me......reminds me of something or someone way way back in my past and I just feel creeeeeepy, and ikky in my body and I can not stand being near him.

I think I am weird, strange and odd. I don't think that I respond to men very well anymore, I find that I will be talking to a man and suddenly something clicks in my head and I become weird and feel like they are after something from me, or they like me in a physical way and I become very cold and I think sometimes quite dismissive and rude.

That is so horrible of me, especially because I am sure that in reality they are not in the least bit interested in me......but my head just goes there and I become a cold standoffish person. I must come across very strangely. And then I feel like a really bad person, and worry if I'll ever be able to have a relationship again....and then I remember, I don't think I'll ever trust again in the partner relationship stakes.

I'm not sure if any of that makes sense, sorry. Just trying to understand what the heck is going on for me............