This isn't the first time I've been told this. I used to sing, play flute, read, write stories, hike, sew, play tons of video games. In the past two years I've just struggled to keep focus on anything for more than a few minutes. I just find happiness in my brain resting, because it doesn't do that a lot anymore. I'm either way way up and doing crazy things or I'm so down I start to cut and pick and self mutilate. When I'm lucid and sane I'm just thankful to sit and relish in the moment. But it's ruining my relationships with other people. I view them as an obligation, as something I HAVE to tend to and entertain. My boyfriend thinks I have no hobbies, I try to explain to him that I do, that I just can't keep focus and am so exhausted mentally and physically (I'm so tired all the time, I fall asleep randomly, can't stay awake during a full daylight period.) I just try to keep up with myself. Hobbies are overwhelming right now.

He doesn't get it and thinks we're doomed. My friends think I don't like them. I wish I could put this illness on a shelf and give them all the attention and time they deserve, but I can't even remember to take my meds half the time, let alone satisfy other people's needs.

Does this make sense?