Wait did I write this post? I totally could have. I have thought every single thing you just said. My episodes have almost always been like that. They are rarely pure. It is an awful mindfreak. Because you have no idea what is real and what is happening and you feel normal and think "see I really am fine why am I being such a freak....and then hours later you're letting the vibrations from your shower fan penetrate your skull as you lie catatonic yet raging with tears streaming from nowhere on your bathroom floor just amazed by the power the whole thing has over you and thinking wow maybe I am completely crazy cuz this seems like a crazy thing to be doing.

Yep I've been there is what I meant to say.

Hugs and peace to you.