Hi Reality. I'm sorry you're hurting so much. Is it that you miss your ex, or just miss someone being there?

I don't think you did much that was wrong. You tolerated a lot of wrong being done to you. There is a difference.

Even in a small town, there's got to be something you could join that would get you around other people. You are tired of being isolated in your house, but you're afraid to venture out. Don't keep yourself a prisoner. Don't assume that breaking out of your shell will not be worth it. You don't know that.