Thanks Granite.
My 6 year old is snuggling up to me right now and keeps asking 'what should I watch mommy?' (she's watching youtube videos on her iPad). I'm struggling to not snap at her because I guess I'm feeling a bit resentful. I could never have been like that with my mom - hence the desire for T to be my good-enough mommy I suppose. I didn't have a session this week - he was out of the office. He was supposed to email and let me know if anything changed about that, but he didn't and I'm feeling extra-sensitive about it. I've been trying to let the small needy part of me out in T lately. Seems to be working alright, but it's not so much fun trying to keep a handle on my adult life while feeling like an abandoned tantrum-y 6 year old. All part if the bloody process I suppose