Picture this....

You grow up with abuse and turmoil. The message that you CONSTANTLY receive is that you are ugly, worthless, and will never be good enough. You don't get over this easily. Its not like you wake up one day and suddenly think "I am the ****!"

I am not BPD myself, but I have been through a lot of abuse. I get sick of people telling me its MY fault for having such low self esteem, for thinking bad thoughts about myself, etc. Uhm, no, its not. That would be a re-victimization. Yes, I am responsible for working on my healing (which I am), but no, I am not responsible for the results of the abuse.

I think this is something you just have to accept for what it is. You didn't grow up with abuse or deal with abuse in your life, so its impossible for you to know how abuse wears away at your self perception until you really do believe that you are a wretched person.

People tell me the same things, I am a beautiful, wonderful person, but I don't ever believe them. Its impossible to change my self perception when I have been told I am nobody my entire life. It just doesn't happen like that.