Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiya
What about when we as clients call our Ts in times of crisis? I find that I KNOW I don't want to because it won't do any good - and then I give in because I've injured or I feel like I will or I'm dissociated or .... all the reasons we call for help) and then T - like, all of them that I've seen- say things like "well... what do you usually do to get grounded?" Or the classic one (that I got tonight) "Why don't you try (fill in the blank - tonight's was 'watch a movie') and then if you're still not feeling back to yourself, then call me back - I'll take calls until x time." "I'll check in tomorrow".
What do you feel?
I felt shame 
then "i KNEW it. I TOLD you. we never should have called."
I feel like Ts don't really know what to do for us in times of need and just hope we'll come up with something. Like they say these things just to (as this T put it the other day) 'cover their a..." just in case something bad happens they can say "Of course, I told her to try to use a coping mechanism, then call back if it didn't work."
What are your thoughts? |
I used to tell my therapist I wish she wouldnt do what you posted here. her reply was...therapy is all about healing, growing stronger, and being able to take care of one self and ones own problems. how can a therapist teach that if they are constantly solving the problems for the client. by my suggesting to you to find something. thats a way of my saying to you, I have faith in you, you can do this, you know what to do, I have given you all the tools I can on this and now its time for you to spread your wings and fly with what you have learned. plus Im no good to you if Im not good to me first and one of the things I need is time to sleep. I cant give all my nights to my clients. my nights are mine unless extreme emergency ...She had a point. the next session my therapist and I spent our time making a list of things I can do for when I am having a problem that is not an extreme emergency (suicide, homicide, self injury ...things that would get a person hospitalized type stuff). now when I want my therapist during a crisis in the night I pull out my list of questions and things to do my therapist and I came up with to assess whether I should call her or handle it myself and how to handle it myself.
now my wish for my therapist is that she knows she is loved/cared about and I accept that she needs her home time in order to be the best therapist she can be.