I'm still grieving, over all my loss of my grandma since 2006, and I'm now afraid of losing my mom. I know when she dies, dating won't happen to a young guy like me.
I get tired being assumed weak for just grieving. I know exactly what you mean with the bars. I go to public places, walk in random places to take in the ambiance of the world around me just to escape the pain. I'm stuck in my head as well, and hope no one goes away, but I wish the best luck to you.

I was going to do the same thing last night with a girl I'm just friends with I may be dating. Also with my friends and girls I meet to drink and smoke hookah to chill with I was on autopilot it's a normal response. It's like to me, being a zombie an emotionless zombie, so put your body in a steroids of emotions back in you. You try to escape with anything that's close to intensity to just be a numbing of pain.

Grief is hard very very hard. I can't do it, I don't know many people can, but I commend you for staying true being mindful of yourself and your environment. Stay strong