Quote:
Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow
I wonder if he was somewhat resentful of being 'rewarded' with sex (that he is undoubtedly fully aware that you did not want) for being 'a good husband lately'. Some might call that a little patronising.
It may well be that in a hurt and resentful mood he struggled to find, on an unexpected instance, positive things to say about you and in flailing wildly could only come up with that skin comment in what we know was a forlorn hope of averting the awful anger that would soon be visited on him.
We men may look and act like insensitive gorillas at times but inside we are achingly weak, timid, insecure, ready for fight or flight, oppressed by responsibility, and need reassurance and understanding. My wife provides me with none of these things despite her clear obligation in our prenup. Unhappily prenups have no legal force here and she appears to be a stranger to moral force.
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Thanks for being so honest. He didn't seem that resentful to me at the time, just annoyed more than anything. I don't think that I was expecting to much from him at all! You'd think that after 20 years that he could find something good to say about me! It's not a dealbreaker though as he has other good qualities such as being reliable most of the time.
Perhaps us men and women just have different needs? I don't know. Maybe me need more physical affection and women just need more of an emotional connection and non-physical affection from men?
Anyways, I have been doing research on why most men are so unemotional and cold on the outside and you're right about what you said. Most men have been conditioned to suppress their feelings at a very young age. But that's a whole different topic.
Sorry to hear about your wife. Perhaps you should tell her how you feel and work out your differences. I find that direct communication is always best even though it doesn't always seem like it at the time. Do you show her reassurance and understanding too? If not, then it's not fair to expect the same in return. Just saying. Good luck with everything.