Yes, she has some medical problems heart disease related stuff, and thyroid stuff from her stop taking care of her health. I don't care my mom is wayy over weight for her age. She just isn't healthy nor happy, she eats a lot gets sick a lot and gets mad about it. She's an awesome mom, I'd be devestated if she has a stroke or heart attack which is a possibility in her fifties. Even though she isn't helpful with me much on my issues, she is the closest thing to feeling safe and happy on living. When she's gone, that's it I'm truly alone and falling in love would be like experiencing the grief all over again.

Its happening now, and when girls say they want kids with me, it makes me so uncomfortable, because I was going to be a father 2 years ago of a beautiful baby girl. Now after finding out her abortion at the time, I feel like people are going too soon in a crucial time for me. I don't even want to fall in love, or date, or even meet more females to be anymore than flirtatious or just friends. If my daughter was alive 2 years old, she would of had medical complications her mother has a disability and wasn't able to carry her, my ex would of died from giving child birth. So it was hard on everyone.

I never wanted to be in that position again. I wasn't sad or angry my life might be over, or my ex would ruin my life using her. I'm devastated, she was thrown under the bus like me. So I'm one in the same with my child and I wish to been the mother not my ex.

So love is impractical and possible, but liking someone is so much harder and painful.