Update : he is home visiting , we have been doing well great day and getting closer. This has happened a few times during our struggle . Somehow he changes his mind and rethinks everything we have discussed . Saying such things as "I'm afraid of falling again" and "im afraid of giving you hope and having to push you away" ... I don't undrstand how all can be going so well then 2 hrs later it's all wrong again... feeling so lost and confused