So I'm going to vent because I need hugs.

Our move in cost came up about $2000 short. So I have to find the $$$ or lose both housing and a place to live. Whatever I'll find a way I always do and if I don't I don't and we'll figure something else out. We always do. I was venting /asking for a loan from my parents through text. All of a sudden they just stopped. Nothing not a single word. The worst part is there phones are attached to them like an extra hand, so is face book and both of them won't respond to anything. Even though I can dsee they read it. It really, really hurts.

So it's 5:15 I've been crying for an hour feeling like an idiot for even telling them things are going wrong. I only talk to them about rainbows and puppy dogs. I sent them a 4 am emotional text, probably not the best idea, about how much this hurts.

I'm falling apart but can't even show it because I'm the one that fixes things and holds everything/one together with a smile, assurse everyone that things will be okay, with a smile on my face but how can I do that when I'm up all night crying trying to tell myself some way I'll figure it out. What sucks is before I left ex t we were talking about how proud I was about not being homeless for four yrs. I always plan everything carefully and some how it all turns to ****.

My husband stupidity said before he went to bed " good thing you didn't go IP. I wouldn't know what to do if you had to sign something. " I know he mentioned I'd be lost without right now but really was not thinking.

Thanks for letting me vent. Any ideas how to hold myself together for at least the next week would be appreciated.