Hello,everyone!
My name is Niki, i'm 24 years old and I have bipolar for about 2.5 years.

Since childhood I was neurotic (thanks to school bullies and mom-perfectionist), then developed depression. I tried to commit suicide three times at 13, 19 and this year. My friends and mom don't take situation seriously. They think I'm making up all this to disguise my current unemployment, laziness, etc. Plus now I don't have enough money to ask for constant psychological help. But I know when I get a job that will be the first thing on my list.

Where I live people prefer to believe only the crazy ones go to a psychologist. That's why we barely have any crisis lines or free centers to help. And if anyone visits a shrink he doesn't talk much about it.

So when I finally understood that the only person who can help me is myself I started digging all the info about bipolar I could. I even took Intro to Psychology (thanx to MOOC) and that was one of the best things in my life. The side effect was that my English improved greatly since it's not my native language. Every cloud indeed has its silver linings.

Why I'm here? I can't count all the times I said to myself "Tomorrow will be a new life". What that really means is "I am trying to be normal tomorrow". And this crushed me every time because I wanted to do all by myself. I forgot about the main factor - people, especially the ones who can understand my problems, with whom I can talk without any guilt.

I guess, I'm in the right place, huh?