Its 1.30 am and I cant sleep. I cant stop seeing the past, and dont want sleep because I dont want to dream about this.
I hate that I was so weak then to stay with someone who treated me so badly........and I did nothing. I cant stand myself and blame myself so much.

I really want an extra appointment with my therapist, but cant get mtself to send an email. I can manage alone but I just dont want to.........wish I did nt have to.