That is a super complicated question and one which you may never have the answer to. Some of the CSA symptoms can be caused by early exposure to pornography, or from exposure to someone else who has had CSA, or later issues that have compounded with other abuse, or just other abuse.
That being said, those are only some of the ways that CSA symptoms can be caused. And obviously CSA can and does cause CSA symptoms.
But memory is reconstructed. In case studies, if you suggest a scenario to 100 undergrads (on whom most studies are conducted with) where, for example, they get lost in a mall and can't find their parents. At first, the person probably won't remember it. But if they are told the story and asked about it 3 or 4 weeks later they will completely remember it as fact even though it was complete fiction.
Further, if 100 people watch a video of a car crash and are a week later divided up into groups of 33 and asked one of the following questions:
1. How fast were the cars going when they bumped into each other?
2. How fast were the cars going when they crashed into each other?
3. How fast were the cars going when they slammed into each other?
The results are that the people within a group give almost the same answer. But the groups give different answers even though they all saw the same video at the same time. The way the question is worded can alter perception of an event.
And last, if someone watches a video and they show someone run through a stop sign and they are brought back a week later and asked about the man who ran through the yield sign they will answer the questions. And if they are asked a week later what happened, they will remember the video but with a yield sign instead of a stop sign.
So I didn't say this to complete shake you up or "prove" that if you remember something it isn't true. It could completely be true. Or it could be true but a little altered because of some influence and the time that has passed. Or one or the other.
What I find really helpful is to think about something and then go to a journal or an email or some source and check what I remember versus what I wrote then. I am often wrong. This doesn't mean everything I remember is false, but if I always remember things as better than they are, then I can keep that in consideration when remembering things that i don't have source documents to refer to.
Last, sometimes remembering is way too overrated. I don't say this from a place of ignorance. I have possible CSA that is repressed. I have SA that is not repressed. And I have SA that was repressed for a few months and then came back..
I have a lot of experience with all this (yay me).
Sometimes I just want to know so I don't feel crazy and don't have to wonder. But a lot of the time, the symptoms are more than I can handle already. And having a memory complete with the likely flashbacks, shame, and other emotions seems like it would complicate things.
You don't have to remember being hurt for it to be very real. And if you have the symptoms - regardless of what actually happened. Then those need to be treated. I dont know if any of this helps. But if you ever want to talk, I'm here.
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