commotionec
I am sorry that you had to go through that. I sort of understand because my mother was an alcoholic and I never felt that I had a mother who could be there for me even though she was there in body. I had one aunt who took me in every summer while I was in school and for one summer a year I felt like I had a mother figure who cared.
I found that finding good friendships helped. I knew that I could not find a real replacement mom but there will be people in your life who will listen and be nurturing.
I wish you only the best