Granite... could you start out writing what you wrote about " I'm scared you won't read this and will ask me to read it and I won't be able to" and then write what you want her to know... tell her how confused things are in your mind and how you really really want to be able to talk to her but you can't seem to .... and can she please help get things going....

could doing some journaling help get all the scrambled up thoughts out before going? or how about drawing something that would explain how you are feeling in your head before you go and take it with you?