((Mowtown)),

Somewhere you have talked about your desire to just be "validated" by your family members. This desire to finally just "be home and feel safe and be validated and understood".

This is a common desire for people who struggle with PTSD, especially "complex PTSD". The challenge with getting this "need met" is that there is no true "awareness" taking place where family members can "learn" why their family member is struggling and how to be more supportive to that family member.

In all the different members I have come across in this forum, I have never met one person who has said their family has been wonderful and supportive and understanding. Every single person I have met and listened to feels isolated and their family members tend to say all the things that only lead them to feel "worse" too. I am no exception to that experience myself.

I had a customer come out to my farm who happened to be a neuro-psychologist. I had a conversation with her over the phone first and she ended up telling me what she did and I was very "frank" with her and admitted that I have PTSD. She still came out with her children and did tell me that I was brave and not the norm because most people with PTSD don't tell other people they have PTSD. She did tell me that right not a lot of study is taking place with emotions and how emotions affect the brain.

Yesterday I was at a private event with my pony and met a woman who told me she had worked with horses and trauma patients for several years. She mentioned that she was not only a minister but also a qualified/certified psychologist as well. So, I look her right in the eyes and said, "I have PTSD myself" and briefly explained that I used to do a lot of teaching until most of my ponies were destroyed by my neighbor's dog. She did not have much more to say and drifted away and did not talk to me again. I felt that was wrong, and had I been in her shoes that day, I would have said, "It is nice that you are still active in spite of the PTSD, good for you". Would that have been so very hard? Even with someone who is supposed to be a "professional"?

Although, the person who was nice to me and listened was the man who hired me. He was "nice and respectful", it isn't "that hard" really. I did not say I was an alien or anything bad, I was just honest.

Most people have "no clue" about what PTSD is. "Oh, thats the thing that war vets get right?", is what most people know. I was no different, I did not know about PTSD myself other than knowing it was something that many veterans were crippled with, I had no idea that the average person could struggle with PTSD.

Considering the fact that Post Traumatic "STRESS" is a result of a "stress breakdown", the last thing someone needs is to endure even more stress because their family invalidates them for lack of understanding or being told "not" to be invalidating to their family member who is genuinely struggling. YES, I was actually treated like a "criminal" for something I really could not help that had totally debilitated me.

Honestly, it is not fair to the patient, nor is it fair to the family of the patient either, because most people "have no idea" what is going on and how to react. When it comes right down to it, I cannot blame my family because none of them had clue what was wrong or how to react or even be supportive to me.

I think that there is such a tremendous need for "awareness" to take place along with directions to people on "how to be supportive" to people who struggle. People don't "mean" to treat the person struggling with "invalidations as they do", they really don't "know" what to do or say, so often they react badly.