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Hey sister, you shouldn't feel shameful. I've given this more thought and maybe this is me just trying to rationalize my feelings on this but I'm not uncomfortable with how I am in this area.

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Hi -- I didn't intend to imply an inapropriate crossing of boundaries. I believe your actions are good and healthy and okay and I am glad that you are't uncomfortable! My shame is one of my core issues and has to do with growing up in a very dysfunctinoal alcoholic home where I had to hide what was going on--it's even hard for me to share beyond the surface here....So, carry on and enjoy these friendships, i think they are admirable!

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I felt kind of stupid the first time my T used the word 'transference' and 'boundaries'...I was like huh? It really threw me for a loop. I never knew there were guidelines like this for our T's and us...now after all the discussion about this and research, I can't believe all that I didn't know. I can be embarrassingly naive at times.

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My T still has not used those words. I learned what these things are on my own, doing research on the net (until I found this site), because i was so weirded out about my therapy which was sooooo different from a previous experience. Now that I understand, I am more at peace with the process and the transference. Yes, the naievety is astounding at times considering what smart, educated, sohisticated people we are